November 6,2008 I gave birth to my son. Afterward I was still small. Slightly in shape w/ a jiggly afterbirth tummy. Happy w/ the fact I didn’t gain that many pounds during my pregnancy I ate and ate and ate and ate as if I were still pregnant. March 1, 2009…I found myself huge! And I am not over exaggerating.
I’m 5′0 tall and I was bordering a weight number that is not healthy for my height. So I went into a deep depression. Which caused to do more eating. Which caused me to gain MORE weight. I dealt w/ this weight but I really didn’t know how BIG I actually was.
November 1, 2009 I had enough. I was in 3 sizes more than what I was before I had my son. I couldn’t shop at my favorite stores without crying and it was a terrible feeling. I had never been this large. I felt like I was carrying an extra person. Walking up the stairs was getting difficult and just getting dressed was depressing because I knew I didn’t look good in what I was wearing I couldn’t handle it.
No one told me how big I had gotten. Not even my fiance. Maybe because he loves me for me which is cool but I wasn’t in love with myself and it was putting a huge dent in the relationship we were arguing because I was constantly angry with myself. I had to fix this shit.
November 2, 2009 I took FULL BODY SHOTS of myself. Something I’d hadn’t done for almost 2 years. And the results made me burst into tears. I was done. I was so big that if I didn’t see my face in the pictures I wouldn’t even had recognized myself. I thought I was looking at a different person. But I wasn’t it was me.
So in between this Epiphany something else happened…My cousin came to visit. My cousin had her second baby a few months after I had my son and we’d both be on the phone talking about how fat we were. Well this broad came to visit and she was SKINNY. Not skinny but you know her body was nice. I’m like what the fuck? I felt like shit. I already was feeling like shit but at that moment I felt like diarrhea smh.
So I just started working out. I stopped eating all damn day. I bought an exercise bike about a month after that and I have lost 23lbs in about 3 months. And I’m still going. I never want to be that large again. Man I don’t like being depressed. I like feeling good about myself. Being confident. Working out has become a normal thing for me and I love it. This weight loss journey is an emotional road. But I am beyond proud of myself. I’m not too far from the weight I was before having my son. I should be there by June. Well I know I’ll be there by June there’s no doubt in my mind.
My son has been sleeping well in his crib the past 4 days. Thank you all for your support and advice I really appreciate it I will return blog comments between sometime tonight and tomorrow *Smooches*
